The perils of remote support

Tonight I went to a client’s holiday party. (We in the small business technology consulting field are always flattered to be invited to clients’ holiday parties, because it makes us feel like part of the team and not just the guy they reluctantly call when something’s broken.) Anyway, the client who invited me is a woman whom I’ve worked with for several years. But for the last couple of years, our interactions have consisted entirely of e-mails, phone calls, and screen sharing sessions. So I got to the party and after a few minutes of wandering through the crowd, I came to a frightening conclusion: I had forgotten what she looks like.

Remember that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry can’t remember his girlfriend’s name? (It rhymes with a part of the female anatomy.) He keeps arranging conversations that would naturally reveal her name, but they don’t go as planned. That’s what this was like. I kept going up to people saying “Have you seen Margaret?”, hoping they would point and say “Right there.” But instead I got responses like “Sorry, I don’t know who that is,” or “Yeah, I know she’s here somewhere.”

I didn’t want to leave without saying hello to my host, but it was getting late. Finally, about 90 minutes after I arrived, I met someone who knew Margaret and who was able to point her out from across the room. I walked up to her, held out my hand, and said “Margaret, hi.” To my great relief, it was clear from the expression on her face that she hadn’t remembered what I look like, either. We must have passed each other five or ten times during the party without the slightest bit of recognition.

Are there people in your life who you would be happy to talk to at your holiday party but who you wouldn’t recognize if they showed up? I have a feeling that phenomenon is on the upswing.