The Schrug

I knew when I planned a Memorial Day weekend trip to New Orleans for a small business information technology conference that I would still be recovering from my knee surgery earlier in the month. So I splurged and cashed in a boatload of frequent flier miles to get an aisle seat in first class on each of the four flight segments (Boston – Philadelphia – New Orleans, New Orleans – Charlotte – Boston). This was only the third or fourth time I’ve flown first class, and I was expecting a real treat.

My primary mission was accomplished. I did in fact have plenty of leg room, even without sticking my right leg into the aisle. I did get special treatment from the flight attendants, who helped me store my crutch and carry-on bags. I was able to board and depart the aircrafts first, which minimized the amount of time I had to spend standing in line. Other than that … feh.

My memories of first class included cloth napkins, real china and glassware, food worth eating, and whatever luxury items the plane could physically accommodate. What I got on each of the + / – 2 hour flights was:

• a free drink in a plastic cup on a paper napkin
• as much food as I wanted, as long as I all I wanted was potato chips, pretzels, granola bars, cashews and sesame sticks, or biscuits (two of the flights coincided with regular meal times; on the flight from Philadelphia to New Orleans, at least the bums in coach had the opportunity to buy some fruit, cheese, and crackers)
• a blanket and pillow
• access to the first class bathroom

No hot food, no free headset, no special magazines, no deck of cards, no visit to the cockpit (OK, I wasn’t really expecting that). I’m just happy I didn’t pay cash for these seats. If I had, a copy of this would have gone directly to the CEO of US Airways. Flyer beware.