Nation commutes Bush presidency
3rd July 2007
WASHINGTON, July 3 - In a surprise move, the United States of America has commuted the remainder of President George W. Bush’s term in office. “We respect the 2004 voters’ decision,” said the nation, “but we have concluded that the punishment resulting from this decision is excessive. Therefore, we are shortening the president’s second term to time served.” The nation simultaneously commuted the term of Vice President Dick Cheney.
At a press conference in the White House, former President Bush expressed relief. “This was hard work,” he said. “But I think what you see today is [that] there is something uniquely American about America, and I am proud to be — to have been – there is a part of me that will always be American.”
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi will succeed Mr. Bush as President, according to the terms of the Presidential Succession Act of 1947. “First the baseball All-Star Game comes to my home town, and now this,” she said. “Get ready for some big-time San Francisco values.”