Double Yellow Lines: Both Solid
Two solid yellow lines prohibit vehicles moving in either direction from crossing the lines to pass another vehicle. You may not cross these lines unless turning left when it is safe to do so.
[Caption to illustration:] Do not cross a double yellow line unless turning left.

Massachusetts General Laws Chapter 90, Section 14 – the code I allegedly violated – has this and only this to say on the subject of left turns:

When approaching for a left turn on a two-way street, an operator shall do so in the lane of traffic to the right of and nearest to the center line of the roadway and the left turn shall be made by passing to the right of the center line of the entering way where it enters the intersection from his left. When turning to the left within an intersection or into an alley, private road or driveway an operator shall yield the right of way to any vehicle approaching from the opposite direction, including a bicycle on the right of the other approaching vehicles, which is within the intersection or so close thereto as to constitute an immediate hazard. It shall not be a defense for a motorist causing an accident with a bicycle that the bicycle was to the right of vehicular traffic. When approaching for a left turn on a one-way street, an operator shall do so in the lane of traffic nearest to the left-hand side of the roadway and as close as practicable to the left-hand curb or edge of roadway.

As I see it, the only way I can be said to have violated the law is under one of the following conditions:

1. The turn I made was a U-turn rather than a left turn, and U-turns are never permitted across double solid yellow lines.
2. The presence of the traffic island partly blocking the entrance to the driveway is by itself clear evidence that left turns and/or U-turns into the driveway are prohibited.

It is my contention that:

1. The turn was not a U-turn because by the time I started turning in a direction back toward my pre-turn position, I was already in the driveway. In other words, I made a left turn into the entrance of the driveway, then I bore further left after entering the driveway, and then followed the driveway around to the right.
2. Even if the turn was a U-turn, there is no absolute prohibition against U-turns that cross double solid yellow lines.
3. The traffic island’s purpose is to prevent cars that are leaving the driveway from turning left onto Arsenal Street, not to prevent cars Arsenal Street to enter the driveway when it is safe to do so. If left turns into the driveway are prohibited, there should be a “No Left Turn” sign either on Arsenal Street or on the traffic island itself.
4. Because all oncoming traffic was stopped at a light in front of me and I had a clear view of any potential obstacles, there was nothing inherently unsafe about the turn I made.

Here are some additional photos with close-ups of the traffic island:

(note how easily a car turning left can enter the driveway, and the absence of signage on the traffic island)

(a closer view of the driveway entrance)

(if no left turns are permitted, it could and should say so right here)

Some have pointed out that I could have made a left turn into the same parking log another half-block ahead, where there is a traffic light. True enough. But by that reasoning, virtually every U-turn should be prohibited and drivers should always proceed to the next intersection and make a series of left and right turns in order to change direction.

I’ll admit to being impatient, but I won’t admit to being unsafe or to violating the law.

Around ten after nine an unrobed man came in, positioned himself in front of the judge’s bench, introduced himself as Mr. Finucane, and explained what was going to happen this morning and what our rights for appeal were in the event that we did not agree with his decision. He swore us in en masse. Then the cases were heard. Mine was third, and up to that point the defendants were zero for two.

A police officer – not the one who had stopped me – read the charges against me. But I had come prepared. I explained that no law prohibited what I had done, and I told Mr. Finucane I had a video recreation of the events in question. He called me to his bench and had me play it, asking me to adjust the screen at one point so that the cop could see it. This is what they saw: (NOTE: This video was uploaded to MSN Soapbox, which is being shut down on August 31, 2009. After that date, the video will no longer be accessible)

As the video played, I pointed out that the traffic light ahead of me had stopped all oncoming traffic and so it was perfectly safe for me to make a left turn. I also pointed out that the entrance into the parking lot was only slightly obstructed and that no U-turn or other unusual maneuver was required for me to enter.

I informed Mr. Finucane that I also had still photographs if he wanted to see them. He declined. I stepped back. He asked no further questions but proceeded to announce the verdict: “I find you responsible …” I was stunned. I immediately announced my intention to appeal. As I signed the requisite form the cop said to me “You know, sir, there’s a traffic island there that’s intended to prevent you from making a left turn at that spot.” “But there’s no sign telling you that you can’t,” I said, “I know that know.” The cop laughed.

I had to pay $50.00 in cash to get the appeals process started. Yes, I’m paying $50.00 to appeal a $35.00 ticket. But the true cost of a moving violation is much larger than the face value, because it affects your auto and umbrella insurance premiums.

My appeal will be heard in six to eight weeks. Free the Watertown One!

1607: Jamestown founded.

1846: The United States formally declared war on Mexico after several days of fighting.

1938: Louis Armstrong and his orchestra recorded the New Orleans’s jazz classic, When the Saints Go Marching In, on Decca Records.

1940: Winston Churchill gave his first speech as prime minister: “I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.”

1958: VP Nixon attacked in Venezuela.

1973: Tennis male chauvinist Bobby Riggs defeated Margaret Smith Court, 6-2, 6-1 in front of a world-wide television audience. He would lose to Billie Jean King later that year.

1981: Pope John Paul II was shot and wounded by Mehmet Ali Agca as he drove through a crowd in St. Peter’s Square, Rome.

1985: MOVE cult building fire in Philadelphia.

Other birthdays:

1842: Arthur Sullivan

1882: Georges Braque

1907: Daphne Du Maurier

1914: Joe Louis

1926: Bea Arthur

1927: Clive Barnes

1930: Mike Gravel

1931: Jim Jones

1939: Harvey Keitel

1941: Ritchie Valens

1950: Stevie Wonder and Peter Gabriel

All in all, a pretty dull day in history.

Once upon a time there was an astronaut. This astronaut went to the moon. Suddenly he was surrounded by moonmen. He walked up to one of them. “Can you speak English?” he asked. “Xchyzpeaioulxbd!?”" said the mooonman. He walked up to the king. “Your man is dumb,” he said. Now, the king could understand English and when he heard the astronaut say those words he said “[meaningless, wordless, scribble].” Then two moonmen grabbed him off, you see what the king had said was in English “Take him to be brainwashed!”

In the brainwashing room there was a tape recorder and it kept saying “I am a slave I am a slave.” After a few hours the astronaut came out and fell down. Then he got up and said “I am a slave.” Then he fell down again. When he got up it was night. He stumbled in to the place where the moonmen were having coffee. He knocked down the king’s coffee. The king said (in English) “Now you are my slave! You must do what I tell you to!” Then the king and his men walked out of the room. Now the astronaut was all alone. He ran after the king but the king was gone.

Then the astronaut (or rather slave) lay down and went to sleep. In the morning the new “slave” woke up. Then he saw the king.

“Get up!” yelled the king. “It is time for you to marry my daughter! Here she is!”

“Yuk.” said the astronaut. “I don’t wanna marry her!”

“You will!”

“I won’t!”

“Will!”

“Won’t!”

“Will!”

“Will?”

“Will!”

“Won’t!”

“Look this is getting silly!” said the king. “I know,” said the slave. “If you marry my daughter,” said the king, “you shall have your freedom.”

“I will take …”

“Well?”

“Your daughter!”

“I was afraid of that,” said the king. “Mary! Take off your costume! Here is who you married.”

“And now I will take off my costume,” said the king.

Then, after the Royal Wedding the prince and the princess went back to Earth. When they landed the astronaut who started like an astronaut and returned like a prince became the most famous man in the U.S.

THE END

[The assignment was not graded, but the teacher commented: "I have thoroughly enjoyed your wonderful story. And I can't wait to see what the next one will be. Would you like a new journal that doesn't keep falling apart?"]

Moral: If your seven-year-old takes several months to produce an inane piece of literary garbage, don’t despair. He or she may one day grow up to write an inane blog.

I feel like I’m ready to move to Phase II already, but I suppose if I rush things I risk reinjury, and we wouldn’t want that. I’ll have to be patient, I guess. (No pun intended.)

Kudos to Dr. Gomoll for what seems to have been an extremely successful procedure.

I already have one blog, so why another? I’ve decided to focus my other one (The Schlog) on technology and other business issues related to my company, SCHRAG Inc. My reasoning is that most people who want to hear what I have to say about technology have no interest whatsoever in anything else that’s on my mind. I call this one The Schrug because, you know, whatever.

May has been and continues to be an eventful month here.

May 1: My aformentioned sister turned 18. (She’s off to Oberlin in the fall.)

May 4: I underwent surgery at the Faulkner Hospital to reconstruct my anterior cruciate ligament. I injured the ACL playing basketball four years ago, but it wasn’t until this past winter that I decided it was worth operating on. The surgery was performed by Dr. Andreas Gomoll, and as far as I can tell he did a great job. I’m already able to walk without crutches (albeit in a calf-to-thigh brace) and there has been very little pain.

May 5: My mother’s birthday. The first one without her. Emily Fenichel would have been 65. My stepfather maintains an on-line memorial.

May 11: My brother Zachary and his wife Rebecca celebrated the birth of my niece, Nora Emily Schrag. (I can only pray that Nora’s older brother Leonard will be nicer to her than I was to my younger brother Zach.)

May 13: Not only is it my birthday, but it is Mother’s Day as well. This was never a particularly noted event in the Schrag household when I was young, but this year it has additional poignancy. Additionally, my cousin Ariel Schrag‘s book gets reviewed in the New York Times.

May 16: My maternal grandmother’s birthday. The first one without her as well. Sophie Davidson would have been 97. She died in her sleep last December.

May 17: My 10-minute play, Not On My Watch, premieres at the Devanaughn Theatre’s Dragonfly Festival in Boston. (For more details, see the announcement in The Schlog.)

May 20: Not On My Watch is featured at the Boston Theater Marathon. (For a description of both festivals, see this write-up in the Boston Globe.)

May 25: I travel to New Orleans for a conference on disaster preparedness for small businesses.

I’ll do my best to keep this space interesting going forward. Let me know if you have any special requests.